Helping a Young Person.
As an adult, I have gained the trust and confidence of my friends sister. We have known each other for at least ten years, and time has kept us attached to each other. She specifically came to me for guidance when she is having difficulties on deciding what education means to her. At the same time, she has been experiencing pressure from her family and distraction from her friends. The essay will show how as a confidante I was able to influence her in determining the right path for her, which is to continue her education. Providing guidance is not an easy task and the essay will also use several theories such as Kolbs experiential learning theory, Maslows hierarchy of needs, Schns reflective practice, Joharis window and pedagogy and andragogy that are relevant and helpful in the guiding and decision-making process.
Theories and Models
Kolbs experiential learning theory According to Kolb (1984), learning is defined as an interactive process which consists of four learning modes concrete experience, abstract conceptualisation, active experimentation and reflective observation. The theory emphasises that learning does not come from experiences alone. An individual has to reflect on it so he can gain and enhance their understanding (Metallidou and Platsidou 2008).
Schns reflective practice The importance of reflecting is further emphasised by the second theory which is Schns reflective practice. Reflective practice is commonly and widely used especially in education programmes partly due to its association with a high level of intellectual skills. This theory started with Donald Schn in the year 1983 when he stated that reflection is further categorised into reflection-in-action and reflection-on-action. He also stated that the reflection process starts when a person experiences troubling, puzzling or just a new or interesting experience (Clouder 2009 Wolfensberger, Piniel, Canella, and Kyburz-Graber 2009).
Adults who provide guidance to children can use these theories as a means to influence them. One can encourage them to talk about it, and while talking incorporate reflection. One can also input ideas and suggestions that are helpful and appropriate on the situation. For instance, my friend is losing interest in continuing education but she is experiencing pressure from her family. As a confidante, I encourage her to talk about the possible causes why she is losing interest in education and what she may think would happen if heshe drops out of school, in contrast to continuing schooling. I told her that if you want to do something it comes with a reason. And that reason is formulated with thorough thinking. With this logic, I asked her why she would rather drop out and counter it with reasons why I think she should continue her education. By stimulating the actual person to reflect on the pros and cons, they gain a deeper understanding of the possible consequences of their decisions and how it will affect them in a long-term basis. Reflection also allowed me to provide my individual assessment of the situation and provide my personal feedback on. My feedback will serve as reliable unbiased information but from a different perspective. This approach allows them to formulate their own decisions and be responsible for whatever they may decide upon, whether to take my advice or not. Allowing them to decide on their own also gives them the confidence that they are in control and that they have a say on the things that they do.
Maslows hierarchy of needs This model categorised human motivations into basic, safety, belonging, and self-esteem needs. According to this it, the highest level that an individual has to achieve or satiate is self-actualisation. It also emphasised that lower levels of human needs or basic needs such as air, food sleep, and shelter must be first satiated before moving on to the next level but it all ends in fulfilling ones potential. The second level of the model is safety needs which takes the form of home and family. The third level is belonging needs. This is important because it is innate to an individual to have the need to feel that they are part of a group or organisation that provides them with love and affection and at the same time embodies their ideals and philosophies (Clarke, Islam and Paech 2006). This is supports the assumption that the type of attachment forms varies depending on personal characteristics and attitudes. This level, however, does not imply that simply belonging to a group will satiate the need for belonging. The next level is self-esteem safety or the need to be empowered and recognised by the people surrounding them. In terms of guidance, the model emphasized two areas where adult support is important, and these are emotional needs, specifically belonging safety and self-esteem (Bolen, Lamb and Gradante 2002).
In the case of my friend, she is being pressured by her family and distracted by her friends. The inability to satiate belonging with her family and friends may partly be the reason why she came to me for help. My presence helped her feel that there is someone she can turn to, a supportive network and the feeling that she is not alone. By constantly informing her of my presence and willingness to helped her feel that there is a place where she belongs. Using the model, I also made her realise that she can achieve self-actualisation, or the fulfillment of her potential through education. My advice to her is simple continue her education for herself so she can achieve more, and not because her family is pressuring her. Fulfilling her education alone can make her feel that she achieved something if it is not an achievement already, and it will allow her to have more options for her future especially in terms of employment. Having more options will permit her more chances for fulfilling herself in means she thinks are suitable. Being educated will also allow her to do and contribute more for her family and society, and for her contributions she will be recognised. By emphasising that she has more to gain, now and in the near future by fulfilling her education, I was able to make her realise which path to take for her to become a better person and how she will achieve it.
Pedagogy and andragogy Andragogy is based on the assumption that adults with vast experiences which constitute the minority, look for independence and autonomy in their learning and development while the majority of learners are experiencing strict adherence to established methods and patterns which are similar to being oppressed (Thompson 1987). Pedagogy, on the other hand, is defined as the conversion of consciousness either as a teacher, learner or knowledge within structural constraints (Lusted 1986). It is also characterised by the feature of standing back and creating time and space. This is defined by allowing autonomy and providing opportunities for children to develop their own solutions and means of achieving their goals (Cremin, Burnard, and Craft 2006).
Emancipation and enlightenment can be achieved through pedagogy, however, it requires that an individual be taught liberating ideas through committed learning. Lectures do not necessarily teach an individual ways to critique or how to construct ones own meanings and definitions in life but it can aid an individual in increasing consciousness, altering perceptions, shaping criticism and making their own definitions based on their experiences and other references. This can be achieved by allowing children to develop and enhance their self-awareness and by decreasing structural constraints in the forms of the educators need to control and validate. Moreover, educators are given the task to encourage children to believe in their potential, develop their sense of possibility and give them opportunities to try.
In my friends case, her familys pressure on her to continue her education acted as the structural constraint on achieving her self-awareness. Excessive pressure can cause an individual to the other path, away from the constraints without fully realising the consequences. Too much control and bad influence from the wrong crowd can also cause a child to rebel. By mediating, she was able to realise that education is not a confinement where she is trapped but rather a means where she can learn and achieve her own ideas and definitions. I told her to keep her eyes on the prize, let go of the distractions and stay focused. Emancipation and enlightenment cannot be achieved without adequate knowledge and proper learning. I told her to think of education as part of a journey and not an end itself. By giving her the opportunity to decide for her own, she was able to develop and enhance her decision-making skills and at the same time believe that she is able to make right and valid decisions for herself. It also gave her the opportunity to try and test herself. It allowed her to develop attributes like risk taking, independent judgment, commitment, resilience, and creative thinking. In situations like this, children should not be controlled but rather encouraged to be on their own while providing adequate support and love.
Johari Window This model is constructed to develop self-awareness which is a basic element in establishing personal boundaries, exploring prejudices, and developing personal goals and critical thinking skills. It has been developed by John Luft and Harry Ingham, featuring four windows referred to as windowpanes. The windowpanes are categorised as arena (open spot), blind spot, faade (hidden area) and the unknown. The arena represents the area of information that is known to oneself and others. These can be ones name or age and other information that are shared publicly. The blind spot represents information that others know about the person but does not necessarily mean that the person is aware of. These commonly take the form of feedbacks. The faade represents the opposite of blind spot. These are information that one knows and are aware of but does not share with others. These take the form of insecurities, feelings and experiences that we choose to hide to the majority and revealed to a selected few that the person trusts and feels comfortable sharing with. Lastly, the unknown area represents information that no one knows, not even oneself. It can take form of potentials and abilities not discovered yet. The model allows an individual to increase the open area, become aware of blind spots and disclose the hidden areas (faade and unknown). The model also implies that as an individual increases the open spots and becomes more self-aware, the other windowpanes decrease (Johari 2007).
This model can help her list everything she knows about herself which is known to others as well like her characteristics, skills and abilities. She can use these information to answer her current dilemma, with her current skills and abilities will she be able to be without education Or with this information at hand, will she gain more with education It will also help her be aware of things that others know about her. Feedbacks, whether positive or negative, can help an individual become a better person because she will be aware of the positive side, things which she needs to maintain, and her negative side, consisting of things which she needs to change or improve. By being aware of these, she can increase her open spot. The third spot, the faade, can help her list all the things she hides and reflect on why she keeps it to herself or accessible only to a limited number of people. We learn thru our experiences, and we would not learn if we continue to shut ourselves out. This information can take the form of insecurities and thru reflection she can gain a deeper understanding on how she can rid herself of insecurities. I told her that to achieve something you want, you have to know and believe that you can do it. And knowing that you can do it comes with knowing that you have the skills, knowledge and abilities to actually do it. Lastly, with this model she can become aware of her hidden talents skills and abilities. It can also make her aware of her inner wants or dreams. Through this model, she can increase self-awareness on things that she can use to be a better person. Also with this information, she can establish personal boundaries because she knows what things she can do and what things she need to learn more. It can also help her determine future goals. She will also be able to ascertain what she can do on a long-term basis and at the same she will enjoy.
Conclusion
Relationships with a young person are not easily formed. They commonly have a lot of things going on with them and only confide to a few, mostly to those they trust other than their immediate family. My friend of 10 years had a dilemma with her education and came to me for guidance. As an adult, I have the responsibility of guiding her towards the right path. I am also at power and position to influence her in making her decisions and deciding her future. Using the models and theories above, we were able to find an answer which is right and suitable for her.
Using Kolbs experiential learning theory and Schns reflective practice, she was able to reflect on her current situation. Through reflection, she was able to thoroughly think the reasons that caused her to think twice about education. Moreover, this process allowed me to suggest my ideas like things that I would do if I am experiencing the same situation. By not controlling her and imposing things on her, I was able to maintain her trust and confidence. It is also in line with pedagogy, where actual learning is achieved by allowing autonomy and independence in the decision-making process. The two models reviewed Maslows hierarchy of needs and the Johari window increased self-awareness and self-actualisation. By being aware of her skills, whether known or hidden to her helped her realise what her limitations are and what she can do to achieve fulfillment of her potentials as a child. As an adult and friend, I have to recognise that she is capable of thinking acting and deciding on her own, but this capability has to be coupled with guidance, support and love. Allowing independence is not synonymous with abandonment. In addition, as an adult, my responsibility is not to impose but to ensure that through what I know and what I had experienced, I can influence and guide a child towards a better path without taking her independence away from her.
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