Pedagogy

When we are born the scope of our birth is already being determined based upon the order in which we arrive.  There are assumptions that view our birth as an indicator of the position in life from which we will view our family, form our attitudes, and by which we will behave.  This is all indicative of how we perceive our position.  There are two considerations involving birth order.  They are our chronological birth order and our psychological birth order.  This paper will speak on the assumptions, and the differences of both birth order concepts, in realizing how birth order plays a part.  Further to that, how much of a part it plays in our actual personalities and behaviors in society and the world in which we live.

Family Conflict and Birth Order

Mary is six years old.  She is the 2nd born in a family of 3 children.  This gives Mary the status of being the middle child.  Every child born into a family will either be an only child, first born, middle, or last.  Some researchers view the order as only child, first born, second child, middle, and last (Manaster  Corsini, 1982).
Recently Marys mother gave birth to a third child.  Since the birth of this child it has been noticed that Mary is acting differently.  She is exhibiting acting out behaviors such as hitting the baby and her mother has caught her sucking on the babys bottle.  Mary has also started to be combative with her 8 year old sister Karen.  It appears that with the birth of her little brother, Mary is feeling displaced within the family unit.  The birth of each child impacts and changes the family environment.  Alfred Adler (2005) recognized that It alters the interactions, roles, and responsibilities of each family member.

With regard to chronological birth order, family life situations will influence the childs perception.  This is when the psychological birth order is created by the child.  The child will actually look at and evaluate his or hers current birth order within the family unit, and make a decision on whether they are satisfied with the position they hold.

Mary has evaluated her birth order and that of her siblings.  In evaluating each of the other siblings, Mary has positioned herself uniquely by exhibiting a pattern of behavior in order to become the focus of the parents and to stand out within the family structure.  This is the creation of the psychological birth order (Kalkan, 2008).

The sex of a child also plays an important role as the child will identify his sex role by comparing himself to someone in the family.  The reason for this is that children are treated certain ways by their parents in accordance to their sex which relates to the expectations the parents have.  This is important to a child in regard to the implemented reinforce and reward system established pertinent to sex by the parents (Manaster  Corsini, 1982).

Other factors that impact how a child perceives their role in the family setting is how close or far they are separated by birth from other siblings.  Children that are born fairly close to each other will bond and play together well.  Children further spaced apart let us say (e.g. five years) or more, will be less prone to be effected by birth order influences.  Also the gender has an impact in family structure.  If there are four boys or four girls, the structure would differ in regard to a childs perception.  Then again if there were two boys and two girls, such a grouping as this would define how the siblings would group together on interacting (Manaster  Corsini, 1982).

Adler (2005) makes emphasis on the point that the important factor is not that of the chronological birth order, but of the psychological birth order perceived by the child himself.  Parents must focus on their children and evaluate them as they perceive themselves to be.  This will be demonstrated by their actions. In paying attention to our childrens actions we will be able to determine if we by some unexplained reason are not providing enough attention or showing enough signs of love to our offspring.  We must by all measures of awareness make sure to give equal attention and love to all of our children.

Research in that area is greatly needed to round out the research that has gone before it.  To know how a child would perceive or if a psychological birth order would even be created if no difference in treatment from parents was detected by a child.  It has been determined that the psychological position that a child places himself into will play a significant role in the development of a childs lifestyle (Kalkan, 2008).

Although it has been believed that the birth order has a direct impact on a childs personality, Dr. Sarah Mendlowitz (2009) says birth order only accounts for about 5 percent of personality characteristics.  The birth order characteristics define that the oldest child or first born has feelings of responsibility for younger siblings and takes on leadership qualities while gaining control.  This may help them to build confidence, and maturity.

They are typically achievement driven, and are great at planning.  Unfortunately these qualities may manifest too early as a consequence of having siblings too early and may be placing them in positions not necessarily healthy. This could have the world view them as bossy, spoiled, and even lonely individuals (Mendlowitz, 2009).

The middle child is just that, stuck in the middle, between the oldest and youngest.  Even though they may exhibit rebellious behavior in growing up from time to time, to mark their position in the family setting, they more than likely will grow up as peacemakers, with friendly and compliant affects.

The youngest child generally gets all of the focus on every little thing.  They are the life of the party, yet they can also be the show stopper when it comes to attention seeking and immaturity.  The middle child is stuck between the extremes of the leader and the life of the party.  Evaluating his psychological order and deciding what position he will put himself into could very well fall along the lines of being that of an unruly child in early years and peacemaker in later years.

Many theorists and researchers agree that birth order in itself has little to do in regard to personality itself, as factors surrounding the childs own perception as to what position he deems himself to be in (psychological birth order) and his family environment along with social expectations must be taken into account in the development of the personality overall.

Theorists argue Chronological vs. Psychological

The problem that exists with research today is that focus is being put on the chronological birth order versus the psychological birth order.  This results in a misconception and assumption that birth order is linked to a childs personality.  When in reality whoever the child perceives they are can be seen in their attitude and behavior and can be recognized by the parent if they are paying attention to the child (White, Campbell, Stewart, Davies,  Pilkington, 1997, pg 53).

The result of findings that are focused on chronological birth order has led to irrational relationship beliefs.  New research with focus on psychological birth order has findings that support psychological birth order as a realistic vantage point of children and explains the irrational relationship beliefs.  These new findings help to point parents in the right direction in understanding their childrens attitudes and behaviors better.

Plan for Success

Parents now armed with this information can build healthy relationships with their children and at the same time through love and attention can unburden their children of the need to evaluate other siblings and focus on evaluation of self in perceiving who they are and their actual likes and dislikes based wholly on self and not from any position thrust upon them (Tharbe  Harun, 2000).

Gates and Colleagues (1988) performed a study on birth order in relation to depression, anxiety, and self concept.  Their findings showed significant differences between the first and last born and psychological health.  The first born siblings had higher self esteem and were less prone to being depressed or anxious (Gates et al, 1988).

Research further brought to light in regard to the psychological birth order that childrens feelings of being unloved and helpless, attributed to and affected their relationships later in life pertaining to love and romance.  This has enabled clinicians to tailor future studies targeting more research on psychological birth order in discovering the aspects of behavior that has been found to be connected from birth to adulthood.

Marys parents have taken her to a child psychologist who has explained to them the behaviors that children are prone to exhibit based on birth order.  The psychologist went into great detail in explaining how some theorists look at only the chronological birth order without taking into consideration the psychological dynamics.

Further to this he advised that both chronological and psychological aspects take equal precedence on a childs perception.  The psychologist informed Marys parents of the dangers associated with a negative impact on a childs development in the forming of a healthy sense of self.  The way to gauge development is to look at the Five Factor Model with regard to the measurements in the dimensions of personality.  These dimensions are extroversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism, and openness to experience (Steinberg, 2002).  

In evaluating Mary the psychologist was able to advise the parents of how to proceed in providing Mary the assurance that she is a valuable addition to the family unit.  He also gave instructions on how to maintain a positive and healthy family environment as it plays a key role in a childs perceptions and would be beneficial for the entire family unit.  In so far as Marys current acting out behaviors they were assured that it was recognized as a cry for help in searching for, finding, and retaining a sense of self.

It is a good thing that you recognized the signs early and sought treatment for Mary.  The prognosis is excellent that she will go through the developmental stages with a healthy attitude and outlook on life.  More importantly, is that she will have a healthy sense of self resulting in good self esteem which is vital to the building of character.

In conclusion early research was focused on the chronological birth order in predicting attitudes and behaviors associated with siblings and the development of their personalities in interacting with family and their social interactions.  Adler (2005) was the first theorist to target the psychological birth order enacted by the child, and proved that the childs actions were a result of the perception of the child.  Therefore the childs attitude and behavior must be taken seriously as a cry for help in assisting them to comfortably develop into who they truly are, without the need for taking on or finding a comfortable fit within siblings personas.  The assumptions in connection with chronological birth order are being dispelled in light of new research surrounding and corroborating that of psychological birth order (White, Campbell, Stewart, Davies,  Pilkington, 1997, pg 53).

To assure that your child lives life from infancy to adulthood as the person they were born to be, ensure that you give them plenty of love and plenty of attention, and give of it in equal amounts to all of your children.  Do this daily, several times a day.  Children need plenty of reinforcement.  They all need and want to feel special and loved.  One more important factor to remember is that with love comes discipline.  There must at all times be balance as children must have limits set upon them so that they do not become overwhelmed with taking on the world before they are equipped to handle it.

With new studies on psychological birth order being conducted, the results are speaking volumes of its impact with chronological birth order.  This new awareness has gotten the attention of many theorists who founded their studies on chronological birth order alone.  The findings based on those studies are now regarded as questionable.  With continued research of both chronological and psychological birth order as working together we may be able to turn dysfunctional households into functioning societies.